(Sick Days)

Always the same.

A phrase no one is ever enchanted by. There is no gumption in such a notion. But, think about all the times we desire those events that always seem to be the same; A movie, a book, a kiss on the forehead, the news of a friend. Tragically, these always seem to remind us in the midst of their occurrence that, once again, the outcome will not change. No matter how hard we seem to hope, you and I dear reader, we can see that we forgot. Forgot to be sensible, to weigh the consequences, or protect what we are.



I remember in elementary school when the children would all treat the one snot nosed kid like he were the unbless-ed creature with the plague. Then our own noses would get runny and we would beg to our parents to let us stay home. Home then became a sanctuary of warm and inviting things. Mother would lie you down with the blankets from her own bed, a hot cup of cider and always make sure you had more than enough to eat. I'll bet you can still remember closing your eyes and feeling as if your fever that was drying your eyes were a reflection of all the comfort that was being provided personally for you.



And that, dear reader, is the moment when you forever wish for a sick day. Then you discover how it feels to have a paper due, a concert to get to and... a cough, and no other sick day has ever been quite so convenient. You weren't hoping when you woke up that morning to have to take care of yourself, or cancel plans with a friend-- you had been hoping for that worm wintry sick day.

As will always be, my first few sick days in Utah happened on the first snowfall of the winter, and quite honestly, the first snowfall of my life. I had spent the last few weeks cooped up in my little world of lazy, but the night before the terror I had determined to be a productive human being. Alas, I still felt the determination when I woke up...at noon, in cold sweat. So I was pathetic, hypocritic, and mal-aphobic.

Hope does, more often than we would like to realize, grants us our wishes. But why, so often, do we hope for what we know
will not change.