And So it begins, and So it ends

There seems to be a point in my life where I allow everything to fall apart. I have just finished celebrating several small victories but have just discovered that the immediate need for rather big accomplishments is looming and kind of imposable. I need to write a ten page paper with opinions I don't have with skill I don't have while accepting the fact that the Boy friend I only kind of liked is dating somebody else and that it hurts for no reason other than my selfishness. Then of coarse I need to accomplish all these goals that make me feel like I will be worth something.

Obviously all I want to do is be melodramatic. Be a viking! Tell the world my tale! But no. Many of my battles are now private. Not that I don't still share. I do. People deserve to see me be me, instead of see me be a bedroom moper. But I have seen how this ends far too often for me to let anyone know that it is beginning. I'm going to create all kinds of goals that will pull me out of this feeling of loneliness. And once I fail I will revert to an age old technique. Step one, eat. Step two, drink. Step three be merry. And Tomorrow be sure you die.